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Cris

Recovering your balance

Sometimes we may feel out of balance, in one way or another: we may feel irritable, impatient, stressed for little or no apparent reason, depressed, or apathetic – just to mention a few 'not-so-pleasant' states.

Over the years I have observed that there are many factors which can make us feel not at ease with ourselves.

For instance, lack of sleep, heavy foods, hormonal imbalances and changes, a prolonged physical or emotional pain, a demanding job, or having people wanting your attention almost continuously (from customers to sales callers to charity workers on the street) can also contribute to feeling drained and stressed.

For me it's very important that I feel at ease with myself - among other things, because I'm not a very pleasant person to deal with when I feel irritable or stressed ;-)

I have found that it all lays in knowing yourself better and better. When I find myself out of balance, I know exactly what it is that I usually need: I need to have time for myself, and to speak to people as little as possible – maybe go to the park and spend a couple of hours sitting on the grass, leaning against a tree, observing the animals (see one of my friends in the picture).

If I choose to speak to friends, I will choose those friends who understand how I'm feeling and who may help me to get back into balance (although I normally just prefer to be by myself).

If in any way you feel out of balance, here are a few things that you can do to get back to a state of ease:

• Walking - simply the act of walking can help to leave behind all stress, step by step

• Sitting in silence somewhere quiet

• Spending time in Nature – going to the park, walking your dog, playing with your cat, feeding pigeons, going to the beach...

• Taking a shower or a bath

• Looking at the clouds

• Looking at water moving – a river, the sea...

Each of us is unique and only you will know how you get to feel recharged. Know that there is always a few ways for you to go back to balance; be open to listen to your intuition and you will know what's best for you.

Principles Of Effective Communication

Find out why Alan's "Guide to the Principles of Effective Communication and Conflict Resolution" is the perfect guide to improve your relationships.

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Which of your selves wins?

Ever wondered why you take a decision about something that you will do (or will not do - for instance, exercising, stop eating sugary foods), only to change your mind altogether when the moment actually comes?

Daniel Goldstein explains that this has to do with the two different selves we carry: our future self, and our current self. He also poses what are the keys for you to be successful and carry through with any decision you may take.

Check it out - our selves explained :-)

Live Loose

Have you noticed how we tend to live our lives from a tense stance?

You get up and you’re almost immediately rushing so that you get into work on time. You of course rush through your working day, because there’s so much to do. You rush to come back home because you want to make the most of your time when you’re not at work. You rush around the house, trying to get as many things done as possible.

All the rushing, all the perception of ‘not enough time’, and all that ‘have to do’ keeps in you in an almost constant state of tension.

So when your work colleague comes into your office silently or the phone rings unexpectedly you jump off your sit, easily startled.

You can think that living in a tense state cannot be healthy. Your body must surely suffer because of it.

My personal opinion is that it’s much more healthy to live from as relaxed a state as we can possibly manage. Life also becomes more enjoyable this way. Beware though – don’t fall into the trap of getting tensed up because of wanting to be relaxed ;-)

Living from a relaxed stance is what I call ‘to live loose’. If you imagine your body when you are in a rushing, tense state, you can clearly see that it does exactly that: it tenses up – your shoulders are pulled up, your neck is pulled forward, your posture is tight. So living loose means that your body is relaxed and flexible.

In fact, you can use your body as a way of letting go of the tension accumulated. For instance, by jumping up and down on the spot, by shaking your body as if you were a jelly pudding, by doing a silly dance of your invention (which, by the way, will likely make you laugh and with it a few more kilos of tension will evaporate). You will immediately notice how you feel better, as if ‘with more space/time’, more optimistic and peaceful.

Now just continue to shake off the tension at intervals throughout the day – and in a few days you’ll feel more relaxed than you’ve felt in a long time ;-)

Luck Engineering

"Luck Engineering" shows you, through quantum physics and cutting-edge thought, how you can create your own 'luck' and manufacture your future.

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Family

No matter how much I think I despise my mother, I know truly she does anything and everything to make me a better person. I'm truly, from the bottom of

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Workplace Bullying

"What every target of workplace bullying needs to know" gives you the precise tools you need to overcome bullying at work.

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Too good to be true? Say "Thanks!"

At certain times in my life I have encountered an interesting feeling. It comes up when things are going well - when, in fact, everything seems easy and I seem to cruise smoothly through all areas of my life.

It's the feeling of "it seems/looks/feels too good to be true". It's the nagging voice behind everything going well that keeps on saying "There must be something wrong somewhere, or something is about to go wrong".

It's as if we pay attention to changing our thoughts and attitudes, we work on it long and hard, and when we seem to be getting the pay-off of all our work then we don't trust it - we don't fully accept it.

I have found that the feeling of things being "too good to be true" is rooted in a belief of non-deserving. Thus when life does deliver to us what we want we miss the final step in the asking: the allowing in what we have asked for.

So this is what I do when I notice that curious feeling. I acknowledge it, and I acknowledge the belief behind it - "I don't deserve". Then I question the belief, and as a result of my questioning I come out with a bag of reasons why I do deserve receiving what I have asked for.

Then, I relax, and accept with a "Thanks" all the good stuff that is coming into my life.

All going well for you now? Smile, say "Thanks", and carry on allowing it all in ;-)

Heart Thoughts

"Heart Thoughts" is full of powerful thoughts which you can use to steer your life in the direction you want.

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Being A Perfectionist

Is being a perfectionist making you procrastinate? Find here the simple trick that will help you stop the syndrome of 'never good enough'.

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The uniqueness of you

Subtly or not so subtly, since when we are kids we are told to be 'like that kid who is quiet' or 'like that other kid who always gets good grades'. The message that we are meant to try to emulate this or that person is later on supported by advertising: buy this car to be successful like this guy, buy this cream to be beautiful like that woman.

Lost in this frenzy of trying to emulate others, we lose sight of what it is like to be ourselves. We rarely (or never) hear the message "You are unique and you are wonderful just the way you are".

But now you've come to be an adult, and you have the power of choice. You can keep on trying to be like this or that person, or you can give yourself a break and just be yourself - be happy and accepting of yourself, be comfortable living in your own skin.

So what is it like to be you?

Use this question to start discovering yourself anew. Maybe you love spending time looking at plants, but you've never done it much because you've been told that "it's not useful/productive". Maybe you love collecting seashells but you've been told that "it's a waste of time".

It's now time to let go of all those messages that stop you from truly being yourself. It's now time that you accept the fullness of who you are - what you like to do, how you like to act, what you like to wear...

You are unique. There is nobody else in the planet (there never was and there never will be) who is exactly like you, and who will express Life through your particular characteristics.

Gift the world with the uniqueness of you!

Tough times? Check this tool...

Some experiences in life may feel very difficult - losing your job, a relationship break-up, the death of a loved one. There may be a lot of pain involved, which we aggravate adding suffering on top by being carried away by thought.

Ideally one would live through difficult experiences by keeping a stance of presence, where there is attention to what is going on but there is no added suffering.

However, it may appear to be very difficult to not be carried away by thought. For instance, in the case of a relationship break-up, you may re-run in your head the events that led to the break-up; you may tell yourself that you should have acted differently; you may have thoughts which make you feel fearful, guilty or unsafe.

I have found that in these cases we may find it very difficult to just continue with the normal stuff of life - from eating to sleeping to keeping focused on a task.

So here is a way of making it easy for yourself when you're going through tough circumstances and you feel overwhelmed by thought.

Imagine that about half a metre around you there is a circle of golden light. You are at the centre of this circle.

This circle is your private space of peace. You can imagine all thoughts staying outside of the circle; they cannot come through. Within this circle you are safe and you are at peace. Let's say this circle is the present moment.

This technique is specially useful when the most distressing part of the circumstances has passed, but you find it difficult to carry on. As the circle of light in which you are safe represents the present moment, you can for now be focused only on it. In this moment, you are safe and there is peace. In this moment, you are safe and there is peace. And so on.

You may need to keep focused on your circle of light for a long time at once. Sometimes, when I feel that what I was experiencing was very tough and would go to bed wishing to die and not wake up again I had to keep focused on the circle of light for the whole following day, so as to be able to go through the normal stuff of the day and be able to simply eat.

Here is my peace and my love to you if you're going through tough times. May a peaceful and loving solution come through for you in no time.

Bye to the old, Hello to the new

I love the time when we change over on to a new year: this is for me a time of reflection, clearing out and welcoming the new. I love the feeling of freshness as I get rid of old stuff (physical, emotional, mental) and make room for the new.

I love doing two things in particular: setting up my new diary for the coming year, and going over the year that is finishing with the help of the old diary, to write down my achievements and highlights of the year.

Setting up a new diary is almost a ritual for me. I carefully choose beautiful wrapping papers, some writing or a picture to paste on one of the covers, the pen with which I start writing on the diary. See, this is the diary which will reflect every day of my life for the coming year - and so it's a special item for me.

I also love using the diary of the year that is finishing to remember what has happened throughout the year, and to reflect on what I have learned and how I have grown. I write down my achievements and the highlights of the year - those experiences that brought me even more in alignment with my highest self.

Writing down my achievements and highlights of the year is an eye-opener. I think that we don't really notice how much we have grown, being immersed in the day-to-day current of things; but by doing this exercise we get to have a larger point of view on ourselves.

This larger point of view is my starting step for the coming year. Today, my suggestion to you is that you take five minutes of your time to write down your achievements and the highlights of 2011 for you. Notice how you've grown. Notice your strength. Then take that a starting point for even better things to come in 2012! Wishing you the best ;-)

Positive Moto

This is one of my favorite positive thinking quotes: If you think you are beaten you are; If you think you dare not, you don't; If you want to win but

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The Importance of the Attitude of Gratitude

I am thankful to my mother and my friends for the unconditional love they are showering on me. I am indebted to them for that and will always be so.

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Stopping for beauty

I've been very lucky lately to come across beautiful skies - amazing scenarios where the sky dances in a symphony of yellows, pinks, oranges, dark blues, and grays...

I always have my photo camera handy as I love taking pictures of the gorgeous skies I find.

This morning the sky had just such an amazing range of colours - see the picture - it was astonishing. Not bad for a Monday morning, eh? ;-)

When changing trains at London Bridge station I walked to the end of the platform to take some pictures of the sky. Only that this morning I was not alone: around me there were another three or four people, all taking pictures of the dawn.

We'd look at each other, acknoledging the magic of the colours we could see. Each of us had been able to leave aside the usual thoughts of a Monday morning ("Why is my train delayed?", "I'll be late to work", "I've got so much to do today") to simply stand on the platform, looking at the sky and taking pictures.

We had allowed ourselves to stop to contemplate Nature's beauty.

My invitation to you today is that you stop for beauty. Look at the sky, smell the fresh air, look at the trees or the flowers, watch an animal move. Stop and spend a few moments allowing yourself to be taken over by the beauty of Nature.

These are some of the moments that make you understand what a gift it is to be alive.

Choosing Easy World

Looking for the way to make your true life happen? Let "Choosing Easy World" guide you.

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"I have time and space"

Last night, as I arrived home, I was feeling anxious. I had been thinking about how many things I had to do and how little time I had...

At some point through the evening my husband asked me what was wrong, and I explained that I had to do so many practical unavoidable things (like taking a shower or washing dishes) that it felt like I couldn't get to what I actually wanted to do - which was writing for the website.

My husband, quite calmly, reminded me that sometimes we don't have time for it all - and that there is no point in getting stressed about it, but that it is much better to do what we can and enjoy it.

Although I was hearing his words, they didn't make an impact right then. But some time later, sitting on the bed, I felt the meaning of his words at once and a big peace invaded me. He was right. And - he reminded me of something I already knew. Sometimes you need someone else to be a mirror, so that you can get back on track.

While I still got things done, I was relaxed for the rest of the night - in a much better state than when I arrived home.

However, this morning, I felt a lot of tension again as I woke up. I thought of the amount of work that I had to cram in two weeks for my day job; of the half-written articles that I wanted to finish for the website; of the practical things I wanted to do around the house; of the piece of music that I wanted to keep on rehearsing...

And there I was again - thrown into a pool of anxiety, with the day barely started - and by my own thoughts.

So what did I do?

First, I chose to remember the feeling of relaxation I had felt the previous night when the words from my husband sunk in. I brought the feeling back, and again felt calm within seconds.

Then, I chose to spend the day of today focused mainly on my own breathing. This is a technique that always brings me calm and that allows me to flow smoothly throughout the thousand things I do every day.

As I took a break at my day job today the sentence came to mind "I have time and space". This allowed me to relax even more - I felt almost as if I was floating on a cloud of relaxation and peace.

In these times in which we are all so very busy, remember - you can relax too instead of paying attention to the thoughts that tell you that you don't have enough time. As my husband said, so yes, maybe there isn't enough time for everything - but the point is not to get everything done. The point is to enjoy life while we are alive.

Wishing you a smooth flowing day! :)

"Seven Steps to Oneness"

"Seven Steps to Oneness" is an empowering audio album by Guy Finley which contains important keys for life.

This audio album is currently on sale on Guy Finley's site, but you can access it for free following the link further down below. All that you'll need to do is to enter your name and email address in the page on his site to access the audio album.

"Seven Steps to Oneness" contains eight different talks, which you can download or listen to on Guy's website - that's eight hours worth of ideas that will help you to make changes in your life.

Follow the link below to access Guy Finley's "Seven Steps to Oneness".

Click for more info

Success Engineering

"Success Engineering" shows you how you can create your own future through a very defined goal-setting plan.

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My Little Angel

The story to be told in few words is tough to relate. But still I'll try. My marriage is 14 years old. I had a great married life, great husband and a

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New lights

Every day brings new hopes. Every day you have a new chance of experiencing your life just like you want to, through the power of your own thought.

You may be living through difficult circumstances; yet you have the power to think that you can deal with them, that there is light at the end of the tunnel, that you are not given anything that you cannot deal with.

Just like the light of the morning is different every day, so is every moment – different from any other moment. Take advantage of the new day and of the freshness of every moment, and choose to look at life with the eyes of peace, love and prosperity. Life does reflect back to you whatever it is you choose to focus your attention on. The power is in you!

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Family

I am thankful for my wonderful family. They have been there for me. They love me unconditionally and support me through my heartaches. They have done

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Start off the day with positive thoughts

I like to plan ahead and think of all the positive things I have in store for the near future. This gets the day going on a positive mark

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Thinking Too Much

Find out what are the problems of thinking too much and how you can increase your self-awareness.

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Overcoming Procrastination

Overcoming procrastination is easy - discover the elements that you want to have in place to leave procrastination behind altogether.

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Being Organised

Discover some tips that will help you in being organised.

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Finding myself

About 5 years ago I was in a relationship in which I was subject to all forms of abuse; being a guy I was embarrassed to seek any help. I was cut off from

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De-entanglement by writing

Today I want to share with you a technique that I put in practice when I find myself entangled in some sort of thinking that makes me feel worried and fearful. This technique helps me to loosen the attachment to thought and to let go of unnecessary stress.

You know that sometimes it takes very little thought for you to feel strong emotions around a subject (love, money, health...). Usually we have been thinking in the same direction about that subject for years, and so our emotional reaction to our thoughts is almost automatic and very strong - for instance, if we think thoughts like "I don't have enough money", "I never have a lasting relationship with a man".

If you're anything like me you have tried to 'sort the subject in your mind' - that is, you have given it even more thought with the hope that you would understand why you feel the way you feel, and that you get to think differently about it and feel better.

However, precisely because we have created the habit of thinking about that subject in a certain direction only and our emotions are strong, tying to de-entangle our thoughts by thinking about them does not work. In my own experience, I only feel more confused and stressed, not having come to any lasting thought that makes me feel better.

So one thing I do in these occasions is to use pen and paper as tools to de-entangle my thoughts. I have found that typing also works, but not as well as using pen and paper.

What I do is I take a few moments by myself, a pen and a few pieces of paper. Then, I write down (sometimes as a mindmap) the main thought in my mind that is making me feel bad (i.e. "I'm not good enough").

Then I write down related thoughts - for instance: what exactly made me think that "I'm not good enough"; what is it that I want to feel or to happen; ways I can think of to feel as I want to feel; and any other related thoughts.

Usually, as I write down all the thoughts related to the subject, I can notice how I am attaching my sense of 'who I am' to a particular way of thinking.

After I've written my thoughts down and I can see them at a glance on paper I feel more detached from them, able to feel more peace instead of a strong emotional reaction.

Besides, the fact that they are now on paper makes me feel that 'they have a place', that I have dealt with them and they are just not roaming freely and coming back over and over. From this stance, it's much easier for me to move on and to not be so identified with thought.

My daily gap of relaxation

For the past few months, every week day, I have been spending the lunch hour feeding the different animals at a nearby park.

At first, during summer, I simply found it nice to sit in the park in the sun. As the autumn approached, I realized I was getting some benefits from spending my lunch break in the park: it helped me to feel more balanced, lighthearted and happy.

I found that this is a combination of many factors. Spending my lunch hour in the park means I get to take my eyes off a computer screen for a full hour. I also get to breathe the freshness of the plants and trees in the park; I get to spend some time in silence; and I can also relax my mind by not having to focus on anything in particular. I can just relax while I eat and I watch the animals eat too.

If you're a full-time office ant, then I'd highly recommend you look at how you spend your lunch time, and arrange to spend it in a way that brings you relaxation.

After a few days of spending your lunch time in a pleasant, relaxing way, you will notice that instead of just dragging yourself through the rest of the afternoon you actually feel energized and fresh, and in a more positive state of mind. And this, of course, contributes to your general well-being :-)

From Conflict To Calm

'From Conflict To Calm' is the handbook that helps you to overcome conflict with someone else at work. It comes with Worksheets and a helpful Conflict Quotes ebook!

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Life

My life My house Healthy heart Food... Vitamins My son My husband Having the best dad in the world That I was close with my dad That I took care

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Thankfulness... not just the last Thursday in November

I want to applaud you for this blog. Too often we complain about what we do NOT have. This is the glass half empty syndrome in my humble opinion. Our

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My life

I am thankful for every thing - my dog, family, friends, the roof over my head, my clothes, and especially the food!!!!!!!!!!!

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7 People Saved My Life

In "7 People Saved My Life - How to make it back from rock bottom" Paul Browning shares his life story and the way he overcame life-changing circumstances.

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Procrastination Strategies

Share your results of using procrastination strategies and read about other people's results on this page.

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I am thankful for...

My wife My children My health My dog My home I have a job I have money I have one day off every two weeks I have three weeks vacation My mother

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Power Over Procrastination

"Power Over Procrastination" gives you the tools and the knowledge you need to overcome procrastination in an easy and fun way.

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The first of the list

Sometimes we have a big to-do list with a lot of tasks to do and we don't know which one to choose; I used to spend a lot of time just deciding what to

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Be Thankful for Love

Life is a gift in itself. Throughout life you achieve goals, you pursue dreams, and you meet people. All these things give the you a sense of challenge

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A New Day

Thankful I woke up to a new day To practice mindful living with every breath Reminding me how life is in the here and now A choice in loving all who cross

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Thank You Cristina

I want to thank you Cristina for the tips you have given in your article about how to find joy in everything around you. I never used to enjoy waking up

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A beautiful death

Sometimes events in your life will feel so shocking or unexpected, or difficult to deal with, that you may find yourself with no enthusiasm or hope and with a feeling as if you were dying.

The death of a loved one, a relationship break-up, or losing your job may all trigger feelings of such depth that you truly find yourself as if you had to learn how to live again.

In fact you are at those times undergoing a kind of death - a death which is healthy and beneficial. Remember that death only means the end of a stage. However, the cycle of life is so that energy keeps on flowing and it simply transforms - this is, something new arises from death.

When a difficult event appears in your life you're forced to change your mental constructions about life in general, and in specific areas like relationships, sense of self, or meaning.

And see, even though it feels scary, this kind of death is only good, because it is there to help you evolve. By having to revisit your mental constructions and somehow realize that they no longer serve you, you're pushed to look for new ways of understanding, which will bring new mental constructions.

The new mental constructions serve you to be better prepared with the next stage of your life - which among many things it brings you better gifts, better achievements, greater beautiful surprises.

As I find it, you cannot get to the better stage from where you are without undergoing some sort of transformation. Sometimes this transformation may be easy and pleasant, such as having a spiritual experience, but most of the times I have found that there needs to be an 'unpleasant' experience for one to really change mental constructions.

However, what the experience contains of unpleasant, most of the times, is just the thoughts that come to you and that you feel you can no longer avoid.

The key at those times is to embrace that initial unpleasantness, to pay attention to how it is that you are reacting to the thoughts that arise. Stay with it, because that is what brings you understanding, little by little.

The new stage promises (and delivers!) a greater sense of self, from which life is experienced in a more beautiful, delicate and loving way. Embrace your small deaths as much as you can - know that life is starting wonderfully anew!

The evidence to feel good

One of the reasons why we experience unhappiness is because we take stock too soon – this is, we stop to look at our lives and we think "I don't have what I want yet".

Now, I know that I want to see the evidence (this is, the manifestation of my wants in the physical reality) because I will feel better. But the evidence in the physical reality is only the manifestation of certain thoughts and beliefs, thought consistently over a period of time.

I have lately been practising a way of going around the thought of "I'm not there yet", so that I don't cause myself unnecessary distress through my thoughts.

The first thing I do is to realize that I want the evidence of this or that in my life so that I can feel better. So then, why not take the shortcut and feel better already, without the evidence having to be there?

You can feel better already in many ways: you can pretend that what you want has already happened, you can imagine that there exists a parallel universe where life occurs exactly like you want it, you can pretend that you are dreaming. As long as you get to feel good about what you want through the use of your imagination, it won’t really matter to you in that moment whether it has actually happened or not, because what will matter is that you will be feeling good, which was your goal in the first place.

Then, I go 'back to the lab' as it were, realizing that the manifestation of what I want will come whenever is time for it – which for me it means whenever I'm clear on what I want to experience, I've "placed the order" with the Universe, whenever I've had evidence to the contrary I've used it to re-focus on what I do want, and I've also let go of having to have it now.

I have experienced a few times in my life that whenever I am fine with not having something yet, and I notice that I have the power to feel good about it as if it had happened (so I'm not stressing about the actuality of it) then that thing that I want comes to me in beautiful and unexpected ways.

Now I'm not a master of this – it has taken me a few thousand times of bumping my head against the same wall to start thinking that I might just want to see if I can go around the wall. But what I do know is that the more I let go of the notion of "I'm not there yet" and the happier I feel in the here and now, whether with what’s actually going on or through my imagination, the easier and quicker what I want does come to me.

Wishing you use the power of your imagination to the fullest and allow things to come to you in their own time.

Joyful through loss

We attach ourselves to mental constructs. For instance, you may define yourself as 'in a relationship', or 'enjoying good health', or 'having a good job', or as 'spiritually awaken'.

That's the way as humans we tend to build what we call 'our identity'. But it seems to me that we're going towards leaving all identification behind.

Should you experience an event that forces you to abandon your mental constructs (i.e. a relationship finishes; you lose your job; you're diagnosed with a terminal illness) you then will find yourself having to reframe your point of view regarding 'who you are'.

When something in your life that you had attached to falls apart, there may be a lot of anger and/or sadness. Yet you find that after the heavy emotions pass, there is a new space created.

Maybe then you no longer need any labels to define 'who you are'. Maybe you start letting go of all identification. Maybe you even refuse to hold on to any desires, as a reaction to having lost what you did have.

So it is then that life goes on, and you may just find yourself joyful through loss.

Always cheer yourself and others

Always cheer yourself and your friends/loved ones. This will maintain a positive environment

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Lucky

I'm thankful for all I have :

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Life

To-day I am grateful for being able to get up every morning. I am grateful for having my Mom with me for 83 years; thank you God for that. I am grateful

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September 2011

An update of what has happened in Cristina's and TBOPT's world in the past few months up to September 2011.

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Today

I am thankful for today. I don't mean specifically this very day, but every new day. Like many people I used to live my life at a frenzied pace, trying

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