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Dare To Play It Big, Issue #080 -- Your Sanctuary
July 17, 2015

Your Sanctuary

In this issue...

  • The Thought Of The Month: Your Sanctuary

  • A Positive Recommendation: DIY Dharma

  • One Grateful Thought: Fresh flowers

    Hello Sunny One! :)

    Hope your 2015 is developing in line with the way you wanted - or better. And if not, well, it's never too late to make a change in whichever direction ;)

    Remember my colorful table... it's finished. There you have an 'end result' picture. I'm quite happy with it - it's very pretty, I hadn't ever done anything like it, and now I have some customized furniture too :)

    One of the things I found while painting the table is that it acted as a little haven for me. Because my day job entails dealing with quite a lot of complex information, and because the nature of this information is on the sad/tragic end of the spectrum, I find that I need to spend some time by myself every day, just unwinding and doing something that doesn't require as much emotional or psychological involvement.

    In this sense, I loved coming home every afternoon, preparing a tea, playing some interesting audio (or a murder mystery series, which I'm also fan of) and spending hours on end just painting. And my sense that all of us need a little sanctuary, a little 'me' time and space every day, was reinforced.

    This brings me to the Thought of the Month: why it's important that you create a little sanctuary for yourself, and what this has to do with resistance. Read on - and live on ;)

    The Thought Of The Month: Your Sanctuary

    Whichever your current lifestyle, you need a little sanctuary of your own - some place where you can retire when you wish and have some time and space for yourself.

    See, the reason for this is that you, if you're reading this, quite likely are a sensitive person. You might have had a partner or friends or family describing you as 'oversensitive', or as 'emotional' (if so, you may want to read Judith Orloff's writings on empaths - you'll probably recognize yourself:

    As a sensitive person, you no doubt pick up on stuff happening outside you, whether you like it or not, every day. You know that your friend is upset before she's opened her mouth; you know that something funny is going on with the colleague at work; you feel tense when you're having to spend too much time with people or in a noisy or busy place; you feel a strange sensation passing by a place where some disagreement has just happened.

    I myself feel what's going on around me strongly in my body. The muscles of my middle back, especially, tell me what's not appropriate for me at any given moment.

    For instance, one night one of my flatmates came home just as I was about to go to bed. She likes catching up as she comes home; but this is not a good time for me as I need my own quiet time before going to sleep. She knows that, so when I heard her coming in I greeted her as a courtesy, and turned around to go to bed; but she started talking, and for a few moments I struggled trying to pay attention to her, and feeling my back tensing up as a huge feeling of wanting to get into my room came over me. I found it quite difficult to interrupt her at the time as she was going on at quite a speed; so when she made a little pause I said 'Thank you - good night' and turned around.

    A few days later we talked about it - I had the feeling that, previous to that night, even though she knew I'm a sensitive person I hadn't fully explained just how much, and I hadn't asserted my needs sufficiently. I said to myself I needed to be even more faithful to my own internal guidance, for my own peace.

    There is obviously the positive aspect of having a hightened sensitivity. You can tell when is time to get away from that one person you just met; your body tells you that you don't feel like having meat today and rather need some veggies; you may even get 'clues' as you pay attention to different things, regarding what it is you've been born to do.

    However, there is also a downside to being sensitive: it's as if someone was forcing you to watch a TV that continuously kept changing channels - you're subjected to receiving lots of unrelated and mostly unwanted information. And as your body registers what's going on, and so does your psyche, in very little time you can find yourself tired, overwhelmed, tense, or irritated, for example. All you know is that you just want to get away.

    This is one of the ways in which resistance builds up in oversensitive people. If you're not careful, your natural abilities can quickly translate in your feeling drained - that which is a gift can actually contribute to creating unpleasantness.

    The good news is that you can use your oversensitivity as a positive and helpful tool, as a guide in your own life. To do this, you just need to make sure that you spend some time every day by yourself, in your own little private place - and also whenever you feel that need it, as you're bound to go through different periods when your need for 'me' time is stronger.

    Your sanctuary needs not be anything complex. You could simply convert a little cupboard or small studio room into your peaceful space; or if you don't have any spare rooms you can always use a divider in a more private room, like a bedroom, to separate spaces. I quite like having candles, crystals, plants, and incense; you can have around whatever makes you feel more at peace.

    It's very important to indicate to anyone around you that that time is for you and for you alone. No interruptions, no "I'll quickly tell you about this", no "Come join us because so and so is here". You need to be firm - you need that time for yourself, because that is the way that you replenish yourself. Without that time, you're no good to yourself or to anyone else.

    So, what little steps could you take today to make sure that you have daily your dose of time and space - your own time to replenish? What could you do different every day, to make sure you're following your own internal guidance? I'll leave you with this to ponder... do reply to this email and let me know what you've implemented! :)

    A Positive Recommendation: DIY Dharma

    If you've been reading this newsletter for a while, you know I'm a fan of audios on self-help and other related fields - as I tend to have a bit of a hyperactive side, and I like listening to interesting things while I do something else.

    This month I'm sharing with you a resource of resources, if you wish. DIY Dharma is a great site that contains many different audios and podcasts on things like the nature of the mind, our relationship with the present moment, meditation, shamanism, lucid dreaming, depression, awakening... You get audios by Eckhart Tolle, the Dalai Lama, Jack Kornfield, Deepak Chopra, Thich Nhat Hanh, or Tara Brach among others.

    In fact there are so many audios there that you're bound to find something of your liking. Make your way over to DIY Dharma and enjoy! :)

    Follow this link for DIY Dharma.

    A Grateful Thought: Fresh flowers

    When I was a kid, my mom would have fresh flowers on a large table in the living room and usually also on top of the shoe cupboard in the entrance. I remember well some of my favourite flowers then: above all, mimosas - with their funny fluffy texture and their sweet enveloping smell.

    Just like my mother, I also like having fresh flowers in my room, aside from the 10+ plants I already have in it. Fresh flowers give such a feeling of beauty, not to talk about the fragance... and as of late, my favourites are lilies - elegant, splendorous and fragant - such a beautiful and welcoming touch :)

    Thank you for reading this issue of Dare To Play It Big, the free positive thinking newsletter of The Benefits Of Positive Thinking.

    Care to send me your thoughts about this issue's topics? Email me and let me know!

    If you enjoyed this newsletter, please pass it along to your friends, family and colleagues, or send them to the Dare To Play It Big sign up page. I thank you in advance.

    Stay well,


    "It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."

    W Somerset Maugham

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