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Dare To Play It Big, Issue #079 -- Increase Your Flexibility
June 17, 2015

Increase Your Flexibility

In this issue...

  • The Thought Of The Month: Increase Your Flexibility

  • A Positive Recommendation: Secrets of body language

  • One Grateful Thought: My bonsai

    Hello Gorgeous!

    I hope that this issue of Dare To Play It Big finds you well.

    You might remember I told you about the table I'm painting... which has kept me engaged for most of this past month - see me in the pic, painting :) - to the point that it's the one thing I've felt like focusing on for hours at a time.

    I've thought that when I finish with the table I'm going to take up on small creative projects, one at a time, for the fun of it - so my next one, as of my current thinking, will be to make a batch of raw chocolates. Something I've never done before, and that I will enjoy for sure, given I like chocolate so much :)

    Taking up on small creative projects ties in with another idea in relation to releasing resistance, which I want to tell you about this month: flexibility. The more flexible you are, especially in your own mind, the less resistance you build to life turning up the way it does. More about this in the Thought of the Month ;)

    Are you engaged in any creative project? Reply to this email and let me know - it will be fun to share :)

    Until next month, keep well!

    The Thought Of The Month: Increase Your Flexibility

    Last month I told you about flow - how keeping in a state of flow helps you to become less resistant to the way that life shows up, and it prevents you from becoming stuck in your own ways.

    Flow can be applicable to any activity - for example if you're writing you know that you're keeping it flowing because you keep typing, as opposed to spending five minutes looking at a blank screen, not knowing what to type.

    Flexibility, however, is something that becomes really relevant in the realm of thought - flexibility is like the 'invisible' step that you can do in your own mind. It is in the province of thought where most of us become rigid and stuck with our own beliefs.

    As humans, in a way we're prone to this rigidity because we create stories or narratives to make sense of our own life experience. We tell ourselves how things 'are' - and the moment we define them, although a useful step, we also somehow limit our flexibility about those same things.

    For example, think of a past relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend - a relationship that finished. You have your set of reasons why it finished. Chances are that the other person has their own set of reasons why it finished, and chances are that the two sets won't match much. That's a narrative that you built which helps you to make sense of that experience.

    But the risk, as I said, is that we define how our life situations 'are' to the point that we don't consider any other interpretation. However, this way of human being doesn't quite match reality: life, as you see, is ever-flowing and ever-changing. One thing you can be sure of is that everything will change. Some things change quickly, others slowly; sometimes you cannot appreciate the change (e.g. your children growing up, as you see them every day), other times change is in your face, whether you like it or not.

    'Fixed' ways of looking at the world create resistance - especially when you dwell into the realm of the things that make you feel bad. For instance - I have a friend who has had several jobs in the last few years, and invariably she finds that she's progressively given more tasks to do, for the same pay - which makes her feel, in each and every job, that she's being treated unfairly.

    From my point of view in this example there is an element of the actuality of what she lives, but there is also another element: her own thought process. Her view of her current job is just the same as the view she had of her previous job, and of the previous one. Me, being a follower of Abraham-Hicks, I keep insisting that she changes the way she looks at her job little by little, by looking at the positive aspects of it, so that her situation will eventually change - though this doesn't help my friend as she finds no reason to focus on the positive aspects, and she certainly doesn't feel that the teachings of Abraham-Hicks have much validity.

    But you see, we may not always be able to change the external circumstances in our lives - e.g. you cannot just wish to have a different boss and have it - but we can always change the way we think about things - and that's where your key to your own flexibility lies.

    So for this coming month, here's an idea for you to consider in different situations where you see that your own thought process has become somewhat rigid, so that you bring in flexibility:

    *Who would you be if you didn't have a past?*

    Think about it. There's you, facing yet another day, finding maybe you've run out of milk and the traffic is impossible and your job is unsatisfactory and tasks just keep piling up. And you feel a huge ball of resistance inside you, having gone through the same sort of thing for a long time (use any other example of your own life so you see what I mean). The emotional charge is quite large. But now, who would you be at that work place if you didn't have a past? How light would you all of a sudden feel, to know that you're encountering whichever scenario for the first time - fresh, and able to choose your attitude, with no weigh from the past?

    Ask yourself the question above often. Observe your own thoughts and feelings. Appreciate the space that all of a sudden you feel inside. There, you've just demolished some resistance ;)

    Care to share where you've let go of resistance lately? Contact me and let me know!

    Till next time... keep flexible ;)

    A Positive Recommendation: The secrets of body language

    Something that fascinates me in human interactions is the way we shape them through not only the words that we use, but through the tone of voice and the body language too. Have you ever had anyone telling you kind words in a harsh tone? You won't hear them as kind, no matter the actual words!

    So it is with body language. In my day job I get to meet with people who complain about doctors, and it is most interesting (and necessary for my job) to read into their body language to make sure I am actually connecting and communicating successfully with them.

    A while back I came across the documentary I'm sharing with you today, called 'Secrets of body language'. It's a most interesting video, which analyses the body language of well-known characters (Angelina Jolie, Bill Clinton, Paris Hilton...) in specific situations. Revealing and interesting - swap your movie-and-icecream night for this documentary (and icecream, why not) - and learn something new at the same time :)

    Follow this link for the video 'Secrets of body language'.

    A Grateful Thought: My bonsai

    At some point last year the thought occurred to me that it would be fun to grow a bonsai from seed. I had had some bonsais in the past, however they all ended up dying – I found them to be quite delicate beings… but despite the poor success record in dealing with bonsais, I got some bonsai seeds from Amazon and planted some – and one of them came out.

    Mind you, I completely skipped the natural cycle that you’re supposed to subject the bonsai seed to – the putting it in the freezer so that it replicates what happens when the seed grows by itself in Nature; nevertheless the seed sprouted anyway. Now the challenge is to keep the bonsai into being a bonsai, rather than a small tree! :)

    Thank you for reading this issue of Dare To Play It Big, the free positive thinking newsletter of The Benefits Of Positive Thinking.

    Care to send me your thoughts about this issue's topics? Email me and let me know!

    If you enjoyed this newsletter, please pass it along to your friends, family and colleagues, or send them to the Dare To Play It Big sign up page. I thank you in advance.

    Stay well,


    "The more awe and wonder you experience, the closer you are to reality."

    Alan Cohen

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