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Dare To Play It Big, Issue #065 -- Are You Savouring Your Life?
May 17, 2013

Are You Savouring Your Life?

In this issue...

  • What I've been up to: Alive And Happy

  • The monthly thought: Are You Savouring Your Life?

  • The positive recommendation: 'The shadow effect'

  • The thanking corner: kindle books and scissors

    What I've been up to: Alive And Happy

    I keep having fun in London! This city is a never-ending box of surprises, and the much nicer weather invites you to go out and explore - say Hello to Cecil, the bearded dragon that a guy had at at a food festival at the riverbank.

    I've been extremely busy. My job, drawing classes, Alexander technique, lots of reading and going out - my life feels sweet and full of novelty. At nearly 34, I feel happy :)

    So, yes, I turn 34 on the 8th of June. I'm a Gemini born on the day of the infinite, and as I grow older I'm loving finding balance and staying in that fine middle point of an observant of all that happens.

    To celebrate my birthday this year I have decided to offer you any of my ebooks at half their price - this applies to 'From Conflict To Calm', 'Power Over Procrastination', and 'Yes To Life'. Keep an eye on your inbox on 8th June, so that you can get the code that will give you the discount ;)

    And as I type this I'm less than a week away of flying to Seville to spend some time with my family. I'm looking forward to a nice 2-week break, with lots of sun, relaxation, and more reading. And then - it will be fun to come back to London, where I feel so alive.

    Until the next issue, may you feel infinitely alive, vibrant and joyful! :)

    The Monthly Thought: Are You Savouring Your Life?

    I have a very interesting job, where I deal with people who are in states of high stress, due to complications of health issues as a result of a doctor's actions.

    In some cases I deal with relatives of people who have died because of a doctor's actions, and as you can imagine these people find themselves with quite a mix of emotions, including anger and despair.

    These experiences have lately brought me to explore the topic of death more deeply. And see, most people do not want to hear about death or feel scared to even talk about it. I don't - in the end a conversation about death is just a conversation - we are still alive here!

    I'm still busy reading literature and watching videos about death, but I've been pondering a few things which I find useful to help us live our lives to the fullest, while we're here. Today I want to share with you four points which I hope will help you to really savour your life...

    • It will all change. The walks with your pet, the laughs with your friends, the warm embrace of your partner... some day it will all be gone. Isn't it grand that you have the opportunity to enjoy all that now? Savour it, take it, embrace it, breathe in, bath in it - you can, now!

    • Imagine... that this is the last time that you do whatever it is you have to do. You know how you brush your teeth so quickly, wanting to get to bed, or how you wait impatiently at the queue at the supermarket? Whenever you do that next, imagine that it's the last time that you are doing it.

      This approach opens a whole new range of experiences. You will hear, see, and feel things that you hadn't before - all because you are now paying attention to what is going on, rather than wanting it to be over.

    • One day at a time. Instead of waiting for Friday to start enjoying your life, focus on enjoying today and on making today as beautiful as you can. Write down all that is going well, relish on the warmth you receive from people, savour the food you are having.

      There's no point in missing today for the sake of an imagined better tomorrow. You have this day and this opportunity now to make it as beautiful as you envision. Tomorrow is just another today, anyway.

    • Appreciation is always the key. Finding yourself grumpy, anxious, fearful, or irritated? Make a mental or written list of all that you can think of that you appreciate: the warm day, your coffee, the chat with a friend, the book you are reading, the new deli you discovered, the colorful world you can see, your ability to walk...

      I promise you that if you turn your attention to that which you appreciate, present or past, real or imagined, you will change how you feel - and fast. It's amazing that it takes so little to feel good!

    Here is what I would like you to do: I would like you to pick your favourite point and spend a couple of days making it the main thing you focus on. Then, email me and let me know what you experienced! Here's for a month full of novelty and expansion ;)

    The Positive Recommendation: 'The shadow effect'

    Sometimes, when I have an interaction with someone that makes me feel irritated or upset in some way, I ask myself what exactly is making me feel that.

    After I identify the particular treat of the person that makes me have some emotional reaction (say, for instance, they are being scattered or incoherent or pushy), I ask myself where and when do *I* display that same quality.

    This is 'shadow work'. Shadow work comes to state that whichever quality we dislike in others is a quality that we ourselves have, which we have not accepted or fully integrated.

    So say the person is being scattered in their conversation; I then look at myself, and recognize that in my upbringing I got 'seriousness' from my father if I acted scattered. I then strived to be a person who 'makes sense' and tended to not accept in myself that I can also act scattered at times.

    Shadow work is extremely interesting in that you can do it yourself any time, and you get to have deep insights into the nature of human beings and into your own life. And of course, following the insights you ease up on yourself and others :)

    So today I'm sharing with you a movie/documentary with Debbie Ford, a well-known author who wrote 'The shadow effect'. The movie/documentary also has the same name, and it's interesting and enlightening. Get comfy and watch 'The shadow effect' ;)

    The Thanking Corner

    I believe that being grateful for something is one of the most powerful tools to feel better immediately. Here are the two thanking bits of the month:

    Thankful for... kindle books! A little while ago, upon my offer to send a book I had read to a friend in the Netherlands, my friend replied that she now got the majority of her books through kindle. A bit reluctantly but curious, I downloaded the kindle application on my phone - and now I can read a bit from whichever book(s) I want every day, wherever I am, switching from one book to another, without carrying more weight than that of my phone. Isn't it amazing how far we've come with technology? :)

    Thankful for... scissors. That tag on your new shirt, your toe nails, the "easy-open" (not) plastic pack, and even the unruly odd nose hair - yes, that too - all dealt with in an instant with the help of scissors! So grateful that such a handy thing was invented :)

    What are you thankful for? Share your gratitude on this page and read what others are thankful for!

    Thank you for reading this issue of Dare To Play It Big, the free positive thinking newsletter of The Benefits Of Positive Thinking.

    Care to send me your thoughts about this issue's topics? Email me and let me know!

    If you enjoyed this newsletter, please pass it along to your friends, family and colleagues, or send them to the Dare To Play It Big sign up page. I thank you in advance.

    Stay well,


    "We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own."

    -Ben Sweetland

    P.S. Feeling stressed and worried because of problems at work? Then check my handbook "From Conflict To Calm" - based on my own experience with conflict with my boss, my handbook gives you the keys to move from a powerless situation to one of peace.

    P.S.S. Tired of procrastinating? Wish you got more out of your own life but you don't know how? In my handbook "Power Over Procrastination" you will find the exact plan, techniques and tools I use to get things done easily - leaving procrastination behind altogether!

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