Dealing With Worries
Getting to feel better
Dealing with worries effectively is a very useful skill. I've personally experienced worries and anxiety to very high levels. The fear that they bring about can be paralyzing, and it stops us from enjoying the now.
So, how to deal with worries?
Worries are simply thoughts about a future negative situation that makes us feel fear: fear of loss, or abandonment, or loneliness, or whatever.
For example, you may worry you might lose your job: that shows a fear of not having enough money, not being able to survive, or losing all your possessions.
Here are a few ideas to help you find your way to dealing with worries:
- What makes you worry is no other than your image of a future negative situation: but the future cannot hurt you.
No matter how terrible the situation you imagine, most likely it will never happen, but if it did it would happen later on, not now.
The future cannot hurt you now. You can let go and enjoy living in the present now.
- As Louise Hay wisely puts it, "the only thing we are ever dealing with is a thought, and a thought can be changed".
The negative emotion you feel is caused by the thought you are having; change the thought, and the emotion changes.
- Byron Katie recommends a technique that I absolutely love: to the thought that you have that makes you worry, ask "Is it true?" Then ask, "Can I absolutely know it's true?"
I was amazed at how quickly my own anxiety disappeared when I asked these two questions about almost anything that made me worry.
Dealing with worries in extreme situations
All of the above may not help you if you find yourself particularly overwhelmed. For the times when your worries feel like a couple of elephants on your shoulders, try the following:
- Handle just this minute. Your fear or your sadness may be that deep that you truly feel you cannot make it through the next hour, let alone the next day.
You don't have to: you can handle just this minute. Be with it, be here, feel your emotions, just let it all be like it is. Handle just this minute
- Stay with your breath. Breathe consciously, slowly and deeply. Let being with your breath be the most important thing over anything else you do. You will slowly but surely become more calmed and centered.
- Visualize or imagine a big bubble or shield, made out of light and that shines like diamond or gold, which surrounds you and protects you.
This big ball of energy feels good; it acts like a shield and doesn't let any negative energy get to you.
- Remember that everything changes. No situation is eternal. You may be in a well of despair right now, but eventually you will feel wonderful all over again.
If you are patient now and go through whatever feelings you have to go, you will get to feel calm again very soon.
The more you practice dealing with worries, the easier it gets. It comes to a point that you can see the thought that would cause you worry starting, and before it sticks in you, you are already choosing a better-feeling thought.
This allows you to truly start enjoying life, for you will no longer entertain thoughts about a hypothetical future that make you feel bad in the present.
Loads of tips
Find below some links to more useful tips for dealing with worries:
"Few realize that they can control the way they feel and positively affect the things that come into their life experience by deliberately directing their thoughts. But because they are not accustomed to doing that, it takes practice."
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