How To Remain Positive In Negative Circumstances?
Discover a few handy tips to remain positive in negative circumstances
Circumstances are never positive or negative by themselves, but we label them so by thinking and feeling about them from a stance of dislike.
For the sake of clarity, I'm going to use the words 'negative circumstances' to refer to all those circumstances which we find particularly challenging and which make us feel sad, angry, depressed, or powerless.
For example: going through a break up, being in conflict with somebody, experiencing illness, experiencing the death of someone, being fired.
In such circumstances you may find it particularly difficult to simply change your thoughts. Find below other points of view which can help you remain positive in negative circumstances.
Our tailor-made challenges
It feels to me that as long as we are alive, we are going to experience challenges. However, if you think back to the last challenge that you experienced, you somehow lived through it and you are here now.
My particular belief is that we are only given challenges that we can overcome. I believe that challenges are there to shake us from our comfort zone and to make us grow.
Therefore, if you experience challenges is because they are your opportunities to grow inside and to expand. You already have inside you all the knowledge you need to overcome every challenge successfully.
The difficult thing though is to remember this when we are actually experiencing challenges. So what can we do to remain positive in negative circumstances?
Acceptance brings calm
Acceptance is a great way to remain positive in negative circumstances.
Accepting doesn't mean to just endure whatever it is you experience. Accepting is more of an internal switch that you make, from a stance of resistance ("I don't like this") to a "neutral" perspective.
A neutral perspective implies that you just take the facts without any judgement of them. Acceptance is more like making peace with 'what is'.
The more you can accept 'what is' rather than judging and resisting it, the more peace you will find within yourself.
Besides, when you accept what is, you're able to see more clearly what you are resisting,, and what needs to change. Then you can take steps in the appropriate direction if you so wish.
A positive affirmation to practice acceptance is "This is happening and it's Ok". This affirmation makes me feel that I release resistance and I grow calmer.
A view from the future
Nothing lasts forever and at some point the specific negative circumstances that bother you now will be gone.
Imagine that it's twenty years from now, the negative circumstances that you are now living through have disappeared, and your future self is looking at your current self. If you could give yourself some advice from the future, what would that be?
My future self advises me not to worry and to lighten up. It tells me that I'm fine and that I can relax in the knowledge that everything will be sorted and that I'll be just fine.
From personal experience
One of the things that works best for me to remain positive in negative circumstances is to work on a personal goal, such as creating this website.
Working on a personal goal helps me to keep centred and to maintain a sense of direction. It gives me a feeling of achievement and makes me feel more positive overall.
If your particular negative circumstances at present have to do with conflict at work, I can help! In my ebook 'From Conflict To Calm' I share with you the tools and techniques that helped me to disentangle from the conflict I had with my boss for three years.
Find out more by following the link, or use the button above to buy your own copy of 'From Conflict To Calm'!
Useful resources
For more ideas on how to remain positive in negative circumstances, check also:
- 'Start where you are': Pema Chodron proposes different ways to grow in difficult circumstances.
- 'Everything I've ever done that worked': a lifelong collection of tips to overcome difficult circumstances.
- Positive thinking tips: five tips that can help you to look at things in a different way.
- Positive thinking activities: a list of suggestions and ideas for activities that will make you feel good.
- Quotes for positive thinking: an entertaining way to get into thinking positively.
- Positive thinking affirmations: positive affirmations for different areas of life.
"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine."
Anthony J. D'Angelo