How To Deal With Victim Thinking Effectively?
Victim thinking is a type of negative thinking, which most of us do inadvertently.
Definition of victim thinking
A victim, according to Dictionary.com, is "a person who suffers from a destructive or injurious action or agency".
According to the American Heritage Dictionary, a victim is "one who is harmed by or made to suffer from an act, circumstance, agency, or condition".
The key is to understand that we make ourselves victims by thinking and judging that something outside us has caused us harm.
Being a victim everyday
The following sentences show victim thinking:
- "All phone companies are the same. They only want money out of you."
- "This would be a nicer neighbourhood if we only had less noise."
- "I'd be much better at my job if they gave me more time to do my tasks."
- "I can't help being stingy about money. It has always been like that in my family."
A victim of...
We can feel we are a victim of many things: the system, the government, the bureaucracy, our times, any organization, our parents and the way they brought us up, a group of people, etc.
It's so easy to blame someone else!
When we do victim thinking, we give away our power and declare between lines that we cannot do anything about the situation.
This type of thinking is often coupled with feelings of hopelessness and frustration. It also leads to stagnation.
The solution
You may not be able to change the situation you are in, but you can definitely choose your reaction to it, and you can choose to NOT be a victim.
Do not give away your power. You can take responsibility for your own life and start accepting the situation and making peace with what is.
Otherwise you will create unnecessary stress for yourself, which can even cause heart diseases.
When you accept any situation fully, most of the stresses disappear by themselves.
Then, you are able to see through and discover what you can do to get yourself on to a more positive situation.
You can also choose to understand what it is that your negative emotions tell you, as explained by Mike Dooley in Infinite Possibilities. Each negative emotion has a lesson which helps us to understand what we need to change to feel better.
Remember that you can choose to see any situation under a different point of view. You can ask yourself: "What positive aspects can I find about this situation?"
Still, if you don't like what you have around you, refuse to be a victim and take action. Find a way to get closer to what you want.
"Our motives and thoughts ultimately influence our actions."
Dieter Uchtdorf